“Affirmations every day help keep toxic thoughts at bay.”
– Tanita Risi
Table of Contents
What are affirmations?
Affirmations are positive statements made in order to reprogram the conscious mind and most importantly, the subconscious mind. Thus resulting in a change of thinking, behaving and believing.
Why are affirmations important?
To fully understand the importance of affirmations, you first need to understand how the subconscious mind operates. I touched on this briefly in the (I would suggest you read if you have not already done so), where I discussed how limiting beliefs are created during childhood and set the tone for your inner monologue and self-talk as an adult.
What this means is, if you have a limiting belief (a belief that you think to be true that limits you in some way) that you are not enough, this belief is based on a subconscious level, and your inner monologue will keep reminding you of this. Meaning you will have a naturally negative approach to things in life. Your inner monologue will constantly be saying things like: “Why even bother, I will never be as good as them”, “they are only pretending to like me”, “I am not smart enough to do that”, “why would they love me” etc.
This is why affirmations are important. Affirmations are used to reprogram the subconscious mind, to help you create the reality you want. To replace your old negative inner monologue, with a new positive and empowering inner monologue. Your mind will believe everything you tell it. Which is why it is so important to pay attention to your thoughts, inner talk and learn what your limiting beliefs are.
How do affirmations work?
At first, the idea of saying affirmations each day may sound a little weird and pointless. As if saying positive statements daily can actually change a person’s life. But it is based on a widely accepted and well-established psychological theory. The self-affirmationtheory (Steele, 1988). Which is based on the idea that individuals who reflect on (affirm) their personal values are less likely to get triggered and react defensively when faced with information that contradicts their sense of self.
So what exactly does that mean? According to this theory, by affirming to yourself who you are, what you stand for and what you believe, you are less likely to react defensively when your integrity or sense of self is threatened. Meaning you cannot be shaken because you have a strong sense of self.
Now a lot of us do not have a strong sense of self. We would struggle to name our top 5 core values if put on the spot, we get defensive, and we get triggered when our insecurities are highlighted. This is why we could use a little help reprogramming our subconscious mind with positive affirmations.
2 things we now know
1. The mind will believe whatever you tell it.
2. Empirical research has shown that affirming ones personal values to oneself is beneficial for improving academic performance, behaviour, thoughts, health, and reducing defensiveness.
This means affirmations can be incredibly effective when used in line with your personal values.
That part is important, they must be in line with your personal values and have a strong impact on your personal life.
Meaning there is no point repeating random positive affirmations to yourself if they do not gel with your sense of identity, your morals and goals in life.
Example: Repeating daily affirmations for career success when deep down your dream is to be a stay at home mother.
The top 2 ways to figure out which affirmations are best suited to you
So, where does one start when trying to figure out the best kind of affirmations for them?
- Start with your core values. What are your 5 core values?
If you are unsure (which most of us are) take the core values test on the “Core Values puzzle piece“. Core values remind you what you should be prioritising in life, which is why it is great to create your affirmations around them as you will then have a daily reminder of what is most important to you. We so often forget to prioritise our most important values and get caught in meaningless matters that end up consuming all of our energy. - Identify your emotional triggers.
Check out the “Triggers puzzle piece” for a more detailed explanation.
Your triggers and basically “unhealed wounds” from your past that have now created insecurities and limiting beliefs. You want to focus on what triggers you because your triggers will reveal your biggest insecurities and limiting beliefs, and that’s where your subconscious mind requires the most reprogramming. We need to break down the negative / harsh beliefs you have created about yourself and replace them with more positive empowering ones.
Examples of core value & trigger related affirmations
Once you know your 5 core values and have an idea of most of your triggers, you can begin identifying the type of affirmations that would be beneficial to you.
Let’s run through an example for each:
Core values:
If you are single and love is one of your core values, you would include affirmations that:
1. Remind you of the love you already have around you (helping you practice gratitude as we often take loved ones for granted. If you feel love, you give love) and
2. Instil the belief that you’re are worthy of love, and you are open to receiving love. (So many people say they want to find love but are not open to dating or letting anyone in. If it is a core value – you have to prioritise it if you want to live a happy truthful life).
These kinds of affirmations would be:
- “I’m blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends and family.”
- “I value having strong connections with other people.”
- “I deserve love, and I know I will find it.”
- “I am open to love.”
- “I am attracting the right people into my life.”
- “I love myself and allow myself to be loved fully.”
The last one is so important! If you do not love yourself and rely on others to love you, then I would highly recommend you pause on the dating and do some internal work first. I will look at self-love in more depth in future puzzle pieces.
Triggers:
Let’s say you get outraged when someone stares at you.
Recognise the meaning you are adding to the stare.
As humans, we are meaning-making machines. We add meaning to an action based on our perception of ourselves and our reality. Whatever causes that anger, will let you know what type of affirmations you need to be stating.
Example: If you interpret them staring as a sign that they are judging your physical appearance in some way, whether it be your weight, hair, teeth, nose, skin etc. Chances are you have poor body image. It would help if you looked at incorporating positive affirmations for a better body image into your daily life.
These kinds of affirmations would be:
- “I’m thankful for my body and all that it does for me. I respect it.”
- “I only think other people are judging me because of how much I am judging myself. I am ready to release all judgments to be happy and free.”
- “All images on social media are airbrushed, photoshopped and distorted. I need to stop comparing myself to another person’s filters pictures.”
- “My opinion of myself is the only one that counts. My younger self would want me to love myself.”
- “The person judging me most harshly is myself. I deserve more kindness from myself. I am worthy of acceptance for the person I am right now.”
- “Accepting myself as I am right now is the first step in growing and evolving.”
Free Printable PDF With 50+ Positive Affirmations
Affirmations can help change your perspective and reprogram your subconscious mind to help you develop a more positive perception of yourself. Not only that, but they can also motivate you to accomplish major goals. You just need to be dedicated to making them work!
To help kickstart your affirmations journey. I have created a FREE downloadable positive affirmations PDF that covers a few core values, limiting beliefs and insecurities. Simply download the PDF and highlight the ones that apply to your life. Put your affirmations list in a place where you can see it every morning (hang it on the wall, on the inside of your cupboard, on the fridge, anywhere in the house that is part of your morning routine). Make reading them part of your routine. Like when you are drinking your coffee or eating your breakfast, for instance. I personally read mine as soon as I wake up – before I even look at my phone. I find it sets the tone for the day.
Download PDF
My message to you: May you always know your worth and may you always find your way back to yourself, no matter how far you wander.
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